don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize