32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
