I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Randomize
