he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize