Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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