I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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