So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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