youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
