Moan for me like Helen Keller
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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