She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
