I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize
