It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
