i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize
