listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
