I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
