i can't believe i had my finger in that
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
