It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
