i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
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