When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
