Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
