I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I think scott just propositioned me for sex
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize