You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
NoShamevember. You game?
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Randomize
