I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
