Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Randomize