i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
