$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
