No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
