last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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