he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
the day after is always just damage control
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
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