Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
