She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize