Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Randomize
