we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
