I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Randomize
