Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Randomize
