and you said cock pushups were impossible
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Are my feet made of real feet?
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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