So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
