wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
