Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Randomize
