READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
How external is "for external use only"?
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
