Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
