I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
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