So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Randomize
