Don't make out with my wife yet
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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