i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
