as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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