Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize
