Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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