It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
