Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
