Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
