dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
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