you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Randomize
