All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
