peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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