he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
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