My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Randomize
