Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
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