I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Randomize
