You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
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