How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
pop tarts are not kleenex
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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